By – K.S. Prathignya

Abstract

This article examines how cinema portrays and promotes qualities of over socialisation as a part of feminine standards, but often describes it as empathy instead. It argues that this internalisation of gender norms is a gradual process. Through a cross comparison between two forms of cinema, there is a connection drawn from princess play to adult female characters in cinema. Finally, showing how there is a correlation of how oversocialisation becomes inherent to a woman’s identity. 

Introduction:

It is crucial to distinguish empathy and being over socialised before jumping to how women are portrayed in film. Empathy refers to the ability to share someone else’s feelings or experiences by imagining what it would be like to be in that person’s situation. There is a sense of boundary with the emotional load, therefore the individual feels with someone without internalising the emotions that this person might be feeling. Whereas, over socialisation is the process of overly integrating norms and values from the perspective of society or others and internalising them as personal characteristics. Therefore, an individual that is oversocialized feels guilt and powerlessness if they do not comply with what society has taught them to internalise. Over socialisation leads to behaviour that allows toxic empathy to become a primary response. This includes people-pleasing tendencies that attempt to absorb another person’s feelings and putting someone else’s above one’s self. Therefore, when an individual displays toxic empathy, they also unintentionally end up playing the role of a caretaker.

Media Portrayal of Oversocialization and Femininity:

In cinema, often women are portrayed as individuals that play the role of a caretaker. They are written in a way to only nurture the male protagonist or assist him while he ‘emotionally matures’, oftentimes sacrificing her emotional needs and boundaries. 

In Kollywood, a popular movie from 2006, Sillunu Oru Kaadhal, the male protagonist Gautham and female protagonist Kundhavi have an arranged marriage, and have a daughter named Ishwarya. Kundhavi throughout the movie prioritizes her husband’s emotions over herself, sacrificing herself because that is what a ‘good woman’ does. Contrastingly, Gautham names their daughter after his first love from college and that he did not tell Kundhavi anything about this previous affair because he did not want her to feel negatively. This reflects that the male protagonist struggles with emotional maturity as well as the inability to communicate this. The climax of this movie arrives when Gautam leaves for a trip to New York, Kundhavi stumbles upon his old college diary which mentions his college love Ishwarya, and how he wishes to live happily with her for one day. Kundhavi goes behind Gautam’s back to visit Ishwarya and request her to visit their home to spend a day with Gautam. In doing so, Kundhavi gives up her self respect and emotional needs because she believes prioritizing her husband’s feelings is what her job is as a wife. She does not feel ‘with’ Gautam, and internalizes all the perspectives that she receives from society and Gautam. She believes that this is what her identity is and should be. Due to her oversocialized nature, she puts Gautam on a pedestal, taking on a caretaker role, assuming that he is not capable of choosing what makes him happy. She self-sacrifices her dignity by willingly accepting the possibility that she is a placeholder for her husband.

However, the plot of the movie ends with Gautam realizing he loves Kundhavi immensely after meeting Ishwarya and having barely any connection whatsoever. He expresses that he loves her after years of not doing so. Therefore, this oversocialized woman that has done years of work trying to prove that she is a good wife and deserves love, has finally received that gratification. The take away is that this is a prime example of what countless other movies portray women to be, which is a catalyst for the change of the male protagonist’s nature. 

Critical Analysis:

In a Gramscian lens, ideas that are pushed without direct imposition are done through civil society. The various ways it employs itself is through apparatuses such as media. Pairing this with Louis Althusser’s idea of ideological state apparatus, there are ways to push propaganda or reinforce some standard without direct implication. An ISA is how propagative material works for and against the state through civil society to maintain the state’s hegemonic values, including patriarchal standards. 

Therefore, in regards to this context, when this trope of a sacrificial and oversocialized woman is presented as ideal in the media, not only does it further propagate ideals that allow young girls to be raised as such but also what young boys should expect in a partner. Aside from this, the difference between empathy and oversocialization are blurred, and the ability to set healthy boundaries in a society becomes more difficult. This leads to a society that is strongly led by social norms. Which is what the patriarchy functions the best under.

Before young women are able to comprehend the archetype of the self-sacrificing and oversocialized woman, this form of thinking can be traced back to childhood where girls have been raised in an oversocialized manner, internalizing patriarchal norms and ideals become easier. However, to develop this behaviour it starts from a young girl’s peer and play circle. For example, this comes in the form of ‘princess play’. The artifacts that go into the making of the identities created during ‘princess play’, hold sedimented identities which refer to a reflection of the available identity performances, social performances, and dispositions learned from peer and family circles through the mode and materials available to a child. Specifically, what princess play does is create an archetype of what a woman/princess should be typically in regards to hetronormative gender norms. This can also be observed in media, such as Disney films. Classic princesses and the retelling of their stories end up watering them down into conventionally attractive women that are strong but not strong enough,  therefore needing their ‘Prince Charming’ to swoop in and save them. 

There are two ways as to how this leads to oversocialized behaviour. Firstly, as girls participate in gendered talk and conform to gender norms much more in their circles, they simultaneously internalize and become hypersensitive when they fail to meet a norm, as their circles would react in a certain way. 

Secondly, sedimentary identities when constantly reinforced and put together with anticipated identities, end up creating an understanding of how an ‘ideal’ woman should be. Anticipated identities refer to entities that have been projected for consumers and that are sedimented by manufacturers’ design practices and distribution processes. This means as these young girls grow up, the hetronormative matrix simply twists into taking a new shape. These only further the ‘Nexus of Practice’ (Scollon), which refer to a community’s intricate web of insider practices, expectations, and dispositions. Eventually creating the next generation of oversocialized women that have been fed as to what standards make up the ‘perfect woman’. 

Conclusion:

In conclusion, women cannot escape the role or behaviour which erases their boundaries completely. There is a strong archetype building from childhood itself which limits women to hypersensitive self-sacrificing figures. The gradual process of wanting to become an ideal princess to an ideal wife, reiterates the pervasiveness of gender norms. Due to this being a lifelong process, questioning behind the promotion of over socialised behaviour (and it being masked as empathy) remains undone. Women that question this are antagonised for having needs and boundaries instead of rendering themselves as passive agents in society.

Author’s Bio:

Prathignya Komandur Sriram is a second-year student majoring in Political Science (Hons.) as well as a minor in Economics. Her interests include applying critical heterodox theory to dissect how ideological apparatuses, contextual climates, and capitalism shape public discourse in the 21st century.

Image Source :Feminism in Hollywood: How Women’s Rights Are Changing in 2015